Wednesday, January 29, 2020

The Benefits of Optimism


Optimism Defined



Optimism is a personality characteristic that can be defined as "hopefulness and confidence about the future of the successful outcome of something." Conversely, pessimism is the "tendency to see the worse aspect of things or believe that the worst will happen; a lack of hope or confidence in the future."


What does optimism have to do with our health? A great deal, it turns out.

Health Benefits of Optimism

Optimistic people are at lower risk for developing chronic health problems such as cardiovascular disease. For example, decades of data from the Nurses' Health Study show that more optimistic women lived longer. The most optimistic women had a 50% chance of living to age 85, according to a recent article by my favorite health writer, herself a septuagenarian, Jane Brody:

How Does Optimism Translate into Health Benefits?

A couple of different pathways of possible causality have been hypothesized. We know that optimistic people tend to take better care of their health, are more likely to exercise and eat healthy. Optimists also tend to be better problem solvers and are better able to reframe difficult circumstances, such as finding out you didn't get a job you wanted, and react with less stress. In contrast pessimists tend to get more stressed out. And when they do, their bodies are inundated
with the stress hormone cortisol. Although cortisol helps in a fight-or-flight situation, when it is present chronically, it causes unhealthy wear and tear on the body. Acutely, cortisol tends to suppress inflammation, but chronic secretion of cortisol-being stressed out all the time--tends to increase inflammation, which is associated with a variety of health problems such as diabetes and osteoarthritis.

Also, optimistic people are likely to persist in the face of obstacles, rather than throwing up their hands and giving up. Let's say an overweight woman who has been relatively sedentary her whole life has a heart attack. The doctor says she must eat healthier, lose weight, and start to exercise. A pessimistic outlook would say, "No way. I've always been overweight and never exercised. It's too late to start now. I'm doomed to die an early death." A more optimistic woman might say, "Wow, I've been given a second chance. I need to meet with a nutritionist and get myself started on walking every day with a goal of 7500 steps."

Measurement of Optimism: The Life Orientation Test-R



If you're not sure how optimistic (or pessimistic) you are, you can rate yourself using a standard, 10-item scale used in scientific research. Developed by psychologists at the University of Miami, the scale has been used extensively in behavioral and health research and can be accessed with the link below that also explains how to score it: The Life Orientation Test-Revised.

What if I'm more pessimistic than optimistic?


It turns out that one's degree of optimism tends to be stable over the lifespan. Children and adolescents who are optimistic tend to be optimistic as adults. Does that mean if you learn you tend to be a pessimist that you are stuck being a pessimist forever?

According to recent work in the health field, the good news is you can train yourself to be more optimistic. In other words, you can improve your outlook on life, and that is true no matter what age you are. Cognitive psychologist Martin Seligman has written a whole book about it. 
Our worldview tends to consist of a set of thoughts that occur automatically, without conscious effort. The first step to becoming more optimistic is to recognize toxic, negative, pessimistic thinking. A friend or therapist can be helpful here.

Next, when you've caught yourself having a pessimistic thought, such as "I'm never going to be able to stop drinking for the rest of my life," or "There's no way I'll ever be able to walk a mile," substitute a more optimistic thought (that is still realistic) such as "But I know I can stay sober today, " or But I can walk around the block and work up to a mile." With practice it gets easier.

Gratitude



Gratitude has been found to be an effective antidote to pessimism.
It's easy to feel grateful if things are going well, although some people take that for granted. If you have enough money, a good place to live, if you're healthy, if you have as much social connectedness as you'd like, gratitude may come easily. Feeling grateful is more challenging if things are not going so well, if your health is poor, or your living circumstances are unsatisfactory, if you're lonely. 

But almost anyone, no matter what their circumstances, can find something to be grateful for, because things can always be worse than they are.

See my related post on Active Gratitude.


Is There a Downside to Optimism?

Only if we get too carried away and develop unrealistic views or expectations. For example, as a writer I submit material for publication in literary magazines. Large numbers of rejections are inevitable. If my optimism is such that I expect to have every story accepted by al the journals I submit to, I'm setting myself up for inevitable disappointment. A more realistic optimistic view might be: If I'm persistent and keep on submitting, chances are that eventually, my stories will find a home.


As I read Jane Brody's column and did research for this post, I was down deep in a nasty that didn't seem to want to retreat. I was feeling bummed out, dispirited, uncharacteristically negative and pessimistic. Just reading about optimism improved my mood and reminded me to be grateful for all my blessings.

Do you want to be happier, healthier, and live longer? Then work on being more optimistic. What have you got to lose?



Radical Kindness






I recently read the words “radical kindness” in a New York Times column David Brooks wrote on the film about Fred Rogers, “Won’t You Be My Neighbor.” 
Fred Rogers and the Loveliness of the Little Good

I thought, if ever there was a time for radical kindness, it is now. So many things in the world are in flux. Political issues have become so toxic and polarized. It’s easy to lapse into cynicism and despair. Radical kindness may be just the antidote we’ve been looking for. I hope we would all agree that the world would benefit from more kindness.

Intrigued by the radical kindness concept, I googled it. There was surprisingly little written about it. 

We all have a pretty good idea what kindness means. But what is radical kindness? The word “radical” denotes drastic change. It’s radical because we don't expect it.

Radical kindness involves intentionally treating everyone—everyone—with kindness, regardless of how they have treated us. It’s easy to be kind to people we care about or who have been kind to us. That’s all well and good, but it’s not radical kindness. The radical kind entails going out of our way to say or do something thoughtful or gracious irrespective of how that person has treated us.

If you’ve ever tried to be nice to someone who hasn’t been nice to you, you know how challenging it can be. 

 For example, say you're at the coffee shop and order an expensive, fancy coffee. When you start to drink it you realize the barista hasn’t prepared it correctly, has made it with caffeine when it should have been decaf, or used the wrong flavored syrup. Having spent $5 for it, you decide to go back and complain about it, which you do politely and ask for a new drink. 

But the barista gets all snippy on you, arguing that it was your mistake, not hers, when you’re quite certain you ordered it correctly.

What happens next? It's tempting get all snippy right back, getting in her face, indignantly arguing that it was her mistake, or to insist on talking to the manager. 

Or you could pause mindfully, take a deep breath, and try to look at it from her perspective. You could be very apologetic and say, “I’m so sorry. I’m pretty sure I ordered it decaf. It must be stressful having so many orders come in so quickly. Can I treat you to a coffee?” It takes courage to do this.

It might or might not get you a free replacement or get the barista to change her approach, but you’re bound to feel good about how you handled it, about your generosity of spirit. After all, it’s only a cup of coffee. 

Because here’s the thing: What goes around comes around. When we’re nice to someone else, especially someone who doesn't necessarily earn our kind behavior, we feel good about ourselves.

Here are some suggestions for how you can incorporate radical kindness in your life:

Radical Kindness Strategies 
See also this website7 Secrets to Radical Kindness

Gratitude – I’ve written elsewhere on my blog about the power of active gratitude. Kindness and gratitude are best friends. A grateful person who appreciates life’s blessings finds it easy to be generous and kind to others. Cultivate gratitude, and kindness will come naturally.

Volunteering – helping others can be a form of radical kindness. See my related post on the considerable benefits of volunteering.

Self-kindness – too many of us, especially women, are really hard on ourselves. It's so easy to beat ourselves up when we make a mistake or don't reach a coveted goal. I know I can be my toughest critic.

Be compassionate to yourself as well as others. Treat yourself the way you would hope a close friend would treat you. The two things I have found most helpful here are mindfulness and sharing with a trusted friend or partner. 

When you’re feeling crappy about something, try stepping back, pausing, and taking a couple of mindful inhalations. Follow this with a few positive affirmations, such as:

·     You’ve got this
·     It’s all going to be okay
·     This too shall pass
·     You're okay


GET RADICAL. BE KIND.